Those of you who read this blog will figure out that I am in the process of getting a divorce from my husband.  Yesterday was the day for the court ordered mediation.  We have been dancing all around each other trying to come up with an equitable distribution of the marital acquisitions.  Of course like most married and soon to be unmarried people, we cannot agree on what is truly equitable.  This often reminds me of the story in the Bible when Solomon had to decide who gets the baby between two women.  (Those of you who are church goers or Bible readers will know the story.)

Anyway, one of us…(not me) has been dragging their feet on trying to come up with an equitable solution.  There have been all sorts of reasons “why” the meeting could not happen.  Mediation had been court ordered and there was no getting out of it.  But, that did not stop you know who from giving it a good college try.

I have and had provided my lawyer with all the requested information that the opposing side wanted.  The other side, well a little less than forthcoming.  Their modus of operation was to throw up all kinds of screens by making demands on me for information.  Being the organized person that I am, I could fairly easily put my hands on what they were asking.  Which, by the way, was information they had already seen months before when we had gone through non court ordered mediation….Another ploy to keep the legal action at bay.

The non court ordered mediation did not conclude with a solution.  So, I alreayd knew that the court ordered one would probably end in the same fashion.  (Oops!  Now you know the solution or should I say non solution.)  Well, this story is not about that so much as about the ordeal to get there and get this thing going.

As late as Thursday afternoon, the opposition as calling the mediator stating that there was no confirmation from their client for the meeting.  (The judge had already told him earlier in the day that he was compelled to attend.)  So, I was still up in the air about rather they would show or not.

I have a group of wonderful friends who have been praying for me and supporting me with words of confidence and consolation.  So, even though I was fearful of the process, because of reasons not divulged here….I knew that I could make it through if I just stayed calm and collected and let my lawyer do the talking.

Seems the good old Devil wasn’t done with me though.  What do we have coming through the same time as my mediation is suppose to be?  Yep, you guessed it….a Snow/Sleet/Rain storm.  This on top of the fact that we were not sure if the opposing party would show up.

So, the day dawned….or should I say, grayed….By the time I got on the road to the lawyer’s office, there was sleet and rain.  When I arrived, I was ushered into a conference room and told how the proceeding would happen.  The mediator came in.  Then, came the wait for the opposing side.  They finally showed.  And, that part was a relief.

In they were ushered.  We got the speech from the mediator, we were sent to our separate corners (or rooms as it were) and the game was on.  Those of you who have been through mediation know that the mediator goes from room to room trying to figure out what can and cannot be worked out.

We could not get past the starting gate.  Seems the lawyer the opposing party showed up with was a fairly new rookie.  He had not had time to review the information and that was the first snag.  Then there was the fact that my soon to be ex was making demands that did not really make sense and the new guy was not too willing to stand up to him and tell him how silly he was being.

After three long and tiresome hours, they, the lawyers were left to arguing out in the hallway.  More than once, I had heard the raised voice of my ex through their closed conference room door.  I know that he was not happy because he had been backed into a corner.  He could not get out of it so he was going to “make the best” of it. 

I had to take a day off from work to go to the mediation.   I don’t work, I don’t get paid.  So, not only was I already out a day’s pay, I had to also pay half of the mediation fee.  I guess that the ex felt that he was sticking it to me.  Making me suffer….for not agreeing to his demands.

I cam home with a small laundry list of what I am to provide for the opposition.  Nothing that he doesn’t already know.  But, hey, if he wants to see it again….well, I will try to comply.

We will meet again for round three.  That will be either in front of a judge who will decide something neither of us like or back with the mediator. 

The best part of the day….the beautiful snow….

Today, at church, you will never guess what the ministers sermon included…..  Go on…try to guess.  Let me tell you that I was agog when he started talking about singing.  Yep.  My post yesterday was about singing in times of stress.  What did the minister talk about???  Mary’s song.  Seems when she found out that her life was about to be turned upside down, Mary too began to sing.

Is that too weird or what?  The minister, Pastor Mike, stated that you need to sing, not when you “feel like it”  but even before you “feel like it”.  Singing is a part of worship.  And, Mary was in fact, worshiping God with her song. 

Just another sign of how precient I am.

I do this all the time.  I call my sister and let her know when she needs to be careful.  And, sure enough, I am very seldom wrong with my warnings.

Last time I asked her about my brother-in-law and if he was having a hard time.  Turns out, his dad was admitted to the hospital to have a toe amputated due to diabetes.  And, to top that, my sister was diagnosed with a condition that required surgery.  So, my brother-in-law was feeling the stress.  His name just kept coming to my mind when I was praying….  Go figure!!!!

I think we all have deja vu in certain respects.  But, I don’t think that all of us just “know” when something is going to or is about to happen.  I don’t ever really “know” what that “something” is….but boy can I sure feel the impending..

In touch with what is going on and able to determine from the facts what’s going to happen????  I live some three hours from these people and they don’t always fill me in on what is going on in the family dynamics.  But, I can almost always pinpoint what is going on and what is going to happen.

Other things I can do…predict the songs we are going to sing before I get to church.  I can catch myself singing snatches of the songs before I make it to the chruch.  We don’t always sing the same songs….so it’s not repetition…It’s just strange.

I can always tell you when I am going to get money too.  Never how much.  Never where it is coming from. I almost always have to earn it in some way.  But, I can tell you when money is coming my way. 

Weird huh!

One of my favorite people, Dr. B., posts on his facebook page a song of the day everyday.  That got me to thinking about songs and singing.  For as long as I can remember, whenever I really get troubled or upset, hymns come to mind.  I catch myself humming bits and pieces of hymns from my childhood.  Then before long, I am singing snatches of the song.

It is really strange.  I don’t know why I do that.  I guess it was ingrained in me long before I had conscious memories.  I would hazard to guess that it may have hapened when I was very, very small and being rocked.  Either my mother or my grandmother must have either hummed or sang to me while rocking me.  Regardless, I always end up “there”.

The act of humming or singing in times of distress has been so ingrained in me that I do it at the drop of a hat.  The hymns range from “He Leadth Me” to “Sweet Hour of Prayer” and anywhere in between.  I even catch myself signing and humming snatches of more modern religious music.  (The Boss and I listen to it avidly at work.)  One of my favorites is “I Will Rise”. 

The songs are my way of comforting myself.  And, they work.  God has a way of sending a message to me through these snatches of song too.  He does put physical arm around me everytime I fell stress or disappointment or fear but he sends me messages through the songs.  He lets me know He is aware of my distress and He cares.  He also lets me know that I can comfort and protect myself with His help.  He is always there.

There are times when I would like to have a friend with sking on.  (a phrase one of my friends shared with me)  And, they do come along and provide the physical contact I need to feel comforted.  However, they are not always available when I feel stress or fear.

I was reading about cats and purring.  They purr at a megahurtz that stimulates “comfort” hormones to be released into the blood stream.  They do this not only when they are happy and content, they do it in times of stress, when they are fearful or when they are injured.  It also produces the stimulation needed to heal.

Maybe that is why I do what I do.  And, maybe that is why I love my kitties so much.  They sit with me and purr.  They snuggle up next to me on the couch and sing their hearts out for me.  Sometimes I join in with a song myself.  And, they do become my friends with skin on.  They are just not human.

By the way, two of my mothers favorite songs to sing were “I want a Buddy not a Sweetheart” and “Why don’t you love me like you used to do?”  And, for reasons that you who read my blog should know, she used to sing “I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch” when I was not happy about something and would frown and stick out my lips.

Music can have soothing qualities.

I am sure that I won’t be the only one who gets up on their soapbox about this subject.  And, I am also sure that it will continue to be a subect of conversation well into the future.  That being said…I have to have my say too.

What is it with all of us?  Why do we want to hear the worst about everyone?  Why do we feel the need to pry into people’s private business just because they are famous?  Maybe the question should be…How would we like it if our lives were on display for all to see?

The stuff that goes on in houses and between spouses should stay between spouses and in houses.  It should be up to all of us what we make public and what we keep private.  That includes those of us who are celebrities.  Being a celebrity seems to give the public carte blanche to know any and everthing about that person.  They are humans just like us!

I find it terribly disconcerting how we tear apart people because they are celebrities.  They are human just like us.  They are strong in some ways and weak in others.  However, when you go into your house and shut your doors, you should expect some amount of privacy.  Those in the public spotlight do not have that luxury.

Just because you are a movie star or a president of a corporation or the President or the Queen or any number of people who are have the celebrity status does not mean that it should be allowable for all of us to know absolute everything about your live both public and private.  And, I do not understand what it is inside all of us that gets a certain satisfaction when one of these celebrities has misfortune or does something that is considered morally wrong.

Don’t get me wrong.  We should all aspire to live lives that can be put under public scrutiny.  But, none of us do so completely.  And, that is where Judge not less ye be judged comes into play.  Or maybe He who is without sin should throw the first stone….Or maybe people who live in glass housese…. You get the idea.

The result of our nosing where we should not often causes marriages already in trouble to fall apart.  It can also cause any number of mental issues for children of celebrities as well as the celebrities themselves.  These people should not be held to a higher standard than the measuring stick we use for ourselves.  And, we should leave them to heal their wounds without dragging everthing out for all to see.  Often the public desire to “know” destroys any hope of reconciliation or reparation.  Are we not at fault then for helping along the breakage?

Shouldn’t we instead say a prayer for those in need of help.  Or for those in the middle of distress.  Rather than say, “tell me more”…..

This week has been a learning experience for me.  I am doing on the job training to be the bestest Vet Tech I can be.  This week was poop week.  Yep, you read that right….poop, poop, poop, by any other name is still as stinky.

In animals, if one suspects that a infection or a parasite is causing issues, a poop sample is attained and is brought in to the office for analysis.  It is not a clean job.  It is not a fun job.  But, if you have the right frame of mind, you can learn a lot from poop.

What I have been examining this week is horse poop.  We have a new method in which to determine the number of eggs per gram called the McMasters method.  In order to do this, there is a specific protocol to follow.  The poop sample has to be processed in a very percise way.  And, that way is a “hands on” process.  Of course, we used gloves….but, you still have to “dig in” to get the job done.

The measurements of the poop solution to poop is also percise.  There are 26cc’s of solution to 4cc’s of poop.  Then you mix thoroughly to get the desired “slurry” to put under the microscope to study.  Needless to say, the air in the lab can get rather odiforous…as there are fecal balls all around.

In this case, the poor person who had to collect these samples (one barn sent in 30 samples) should be pitied too.  Imagine going home from a days work saying that what you did was pick up fecal balls from horses.  I don’t know which is worse, shoveling it or walking into the stalls and picking it up.  Regardless, each sample has to be placed in it’s own baggie and labeled.  I have never seen so much poop in one place in all my life.

I won’t go into the gross details.  Suffice to say, horse poop is full of a lot of things.  And, it is amazing what you can see under the microscope.  Some times it was difficult to “pinch” off the required 4cc’s because of the grassy diet of the horse.  Other times, pieces of grain would show up.

Under the microscope, these things are really fascinating.  You can see all types of things floating around.  Which makes me wonder about what you can tell about us from our….Well, I won’t go there!  Anyway, what I was looking for were strongids.  They look like amoebas but are actually egg sacs from worms..  Horses can be different types of “sheaders” of these eggs depending on how many worms they actually have…. Really interesting and amazing stuff…..

I did run in to a kinda sang though.  I wear contacts.  And, I wear one for nearsighted and one for farsighted which gives me my distance and my close vision.  Are you getting to where I am going?  Yep, my eyes don’t focus together.  My brain puts the two different images that my eyes see together in something call gestalting (spelling).  Meaning that my brain puts together the puzzle to come up with a logical solution to what I am seeing.  (Aren’t brains amazing!!!!!) This process works well most of the time, but not when looking into a microscope. 

Since my eyes are essentially seeing two different things in the microscope depending on the focus, my brain has a problem with putting the two images together.  Once in college, I participated in a psychology experiment that tested this.  But, I won’t go into that now.  Suffice to say, one side of the brain has the words, the other has the image, they have to put them both together in order to understand.  Amazing!!!!

So, I have to look at the microbes with one eye only.  And, then I have to learn how to handle the microscope,  This is new to me.  I was not exposed to this instrument in highschool or college.  I have to learn how to focus and move the slide and read the results which in itself can be very taxing on the old brain.  Not to mention standing hunched over a microscope on a countertop.

I can actually say that I have a new respect for those of you who do research with these lovely microscopes.  Of course ours is antiquated beyond belief.  I think Sir Isaac Newton may have used it.  Though it does now have a power source and a light to “light the way” so to speak. 

Any of you who have any suggestions  beside “practice, practice, practice” in my training on how to manouver this microscope, let me know.  I know I will have plenty of practice!!!!!

Christmas time is quickly approaching.  Each year, I look foward to this time with a sense of anticipation and sadness.  Why sadness one may ask.  Well, for most, Christmas siginifies the time of the birth of Christ and all the wonderful and amazing things that entails.  I feel that and my soul sings for joy!  I get caught up in the true meaning of Christmas and the singing of the carols and the joyousness of the season.

But…to be honest, there are times when there is sadness too.  You see, my father died in December and was burried on my Grandmother’s birthday.  So, it is also a time of bittersweet memories. 

In my little three year old mind, memories of loss and Christmas mix and mingle.  That was a sad Christmas in our house.  Of course, presents were given and received.  But, we all mourned the ones that were no longer there.

As an adult, I have to work hard at balancing the two…happiness and sadness during this time.  It is hard for me to separate the two.  And, more often than not, sadness wins out.  I spend some time thinking about what might have been if my dad were still with us.  I also mourn the loss of my Grandmother…those of you who have read my blog know that she had a huge hand in raising me.

I could not help but take on some of her qualities.  She was so loving and king and giving.  But, I know that her heart ached for the son that she lost.  And, some of that bittersweetness was passed on to me.  She was happy for the family she had.  The grandchildren around her.  But, she could not help but mour the son who had died too soon.

She too would get caught up in the happiness and wonder of the birth of Christ.  That carried her through the rough times.  Still she perservered to provide a happy Christmas for the little ones left behind.  What was more important to her was to take care of the the “brood” she had.  I am sure that she must have seen our father in all of our faces.

That Christmas was hard on everyone.  My mother too.  And, my two brothers who were old enough to know what was going on.  I cannot imagine the sadness my mom felt when she went to pick up the layaway presents that she and my father had picked out for us kids.  I cannot imagine how she felt when she sat down to figure out how to put together toys that required assembly.  Still, she made it through.

My brothers both have families.  They have enjoyed the opportunity of watching their children grow into adults.  They are thankful for the experience.  They have told Christmas stories to little ones and seen the excitement of a child when they get up on Christmas morning.  They have spent nights putting together toys for children.  Still yet, I am sure there are times when they must just sit back and sigh.  They must remember their dad and the times they had on Christmas….

They remember happiness and loss.  But, for them, it is two separate things.  I am sure that Christmas was not the best.  But, they had ones that they could remember that were the best ever.  They can remember the trees with the presents underneath.  They can remember my dad booming through the house with Merry Christmas! 

My youngest sibling, my little sister, was only six months old.  She has a sense of loss but it is different from mine also.  She knows how to separate the loss from the happiness too.  By the time she remembers Christmas, there was no dad around.  She knew that someone was missing.  But, to here, he was never there.  

Me, well, I remember both.  They mingle each year.  I see and fell the joy of the true and real Christmas, the birth of Christ.  But, the gift giving and the trees and the tinsle…well, they symbolize something totally different to me.  Because the first Christmas I remember was sad for everyone around me, it remains sad for me today. 

I can say Happy Holidays and mean it.  I can say Merry Christmas and mean it.  But, for me….well, it is a time of bittersweet.

I couldn’t think of a catchy title so I decided to name it what it was….Saturday morning

I got up because the boys were hungry and wanted me to get up and feed them.  I came shuffling out of the bedroom rubbing my eyes and trying to adjust to being verticle rather than horizontal.  I did the “normal” procedure for Saturday.  I picked up the food bowls and gave the boys fresh water and cat food.  Then, I set about making the coffee for the moma….

All of this I do before I get my contacts in.  Without my contacts, the world is just a bunch of blurring things in different colors.  Nothing is distinct unless I get right on top of it.  Or, it gets right on top of me.  Every had a cat sitting on your chest waiting for you to open your eyes?

Any way, I shuffled into the bathroom and put my “eyes” in.  I came back out, got my coffee,  and realized that the blinds in the bay window were askew.  The “normal” is to have the blinds up during the day and almost alll the way down at night.  That way the cats can still see outside without the whole world being able to see the inside.

When I looked at the middle set of blinds, I realized they were completely down.  Upon closer inspection, I  realized that the little white things that were supposed to be on the end of the pull cords were gone.  The cords had been completely chewed through.

My first job was to find the little white things.  That got me started looking for all the little things that the cats have taken over the time they have been living with me, not to mention all the other toys I have given them that have come up missing.  There is was in my pjs crawling around on the floor with a flashlight and a sturdy tape measurer trying to retrieve all of the “prizes” that the cats have claimed.

I am sure that the boys were very confused.  They followed me around sniffing at the flashlight and trying to play with the tape measurer.  You see, I did not have a yard stick.  The tape measurer is one of those “professional” ones that is really strong and has a button on the back that can keep the measurer out without it retracting.  Hey, you use what every tools you have on Saturday morning to get the job done…..

The boys thought it was quite an adventure.  And, the stuff we found.  Not only was there stuff under every piece of furniture and appliance in the apartment, but I found loads and loads of cat har and dust bunnies.  I found cat hair dust bunnies!  I found a sponge that I used to clean dishes with.  I found the purple tops from milk jugs.  I found all the little kitty balls that get lodged under furniture.  I found toilet paper rolls….(empty of paper…they love to roll them around).  I found pens…loads and loads of pens.  They love those things. 

Anyway….I gathered up all of the stuff.  I divided it between what was the cats’ and what was mine.  Of course, the cats wanted not only what was theirs but what was mine too.  I hid the pens so they could not take them again.  I gave them all their toys.  And, before I could sit down and really enjoy my coffee, they had already lost some of them.  So, the cycle started again….

My point?  Well, I finally found the white things that go on the cords.  I reattached them to the cords.  And, one would think that all was well.  Well, last night, I hear the blinds rattling again, yep the boys were after the white things again…. So, I had to shoo them away from the blinds.

This morning, the white things were still in place.  So far, so good.

What I have I learned?  If anyone ever attempts to tie me up with blind cord, my boys can chew through it and free me.  So, that is one less thing I have to worry about.  The boys are on it!

There is one more set of Angels to mention.  Those two are Georgie and Spencer.  They have invited me and a bunch of others over to their house for Thanksgiving Dinner.

I am unable to make it back to Georgetown this year.  I was just there last weekend.  And I need to work.

God is great!  He has put so many wonderful people in my life.  It is so awesome!

You don’t know who they are.  You cannot pick them out of a crowd.  However, I can assure you that there are Angels sent directly from God here on this earth.  I have met a few in my lifetime, the most recently this past week.

You all know that my rear windows in my Jeep have been malfunctioning, or actually not functioning at all.  I have been riding around with one in the down and one in the up position for almost a month now.  Why?  Well, the simplest answer is that I was trying to figure ou the creative bookkeeping way to get them fixed.

I knew I did not have the liquidity to go to the Dealership and pay a huge amount for the “complete” window assembly because in their words, they did not sell the parts separately.  Also the cost of installation and all the other add ons that they do, made the trip to the Dealership something I was going to have to figure out how I could afford.

In the meantime, I have been riding around with an industrial grade garbage bag slipped over the door and taped down to keep out the rain.  Rain, it kept out, wind and cold, not so good.  So, I was also riding around with the heat on high on cold mornings. 

So, God’s Angels stepped in.  One of my friend, Keith, stated that he would look at the windows and see what he could do for me.  So, I thought I was set up and things would be taken care of at a greatly reduced price.  Keith is an Angel indeed.  We just had to coordinate when we could get together.  He stated that he would take apart the door and see what parts were needed and then basically go on a “hunt” to find them whether in a wrecked vehicle or at the parts department at the Dealership.

So, we met yesterday and he took a good two hours to take apart one of the doors and assess the issue.  He knows what he needs and is on his mission to find the parts.  He taped my windows in the up position until they can be fixed.  So, YEAH!, I have closed rear windows that I can look out of when merging in traffic and will not fall into the door frame.  No more rain or cold!!!

And if that was not enough….more Angels have stepped in.  One set of Angels, who wish to remain anonymous, offered to take the vehicle to the garage and have the window that was down repaired as a Christmas Gift to me.  I was totally floored by this!  These people are the type that no one would even begin to think were put here as God’s Agents but let me tell you that they have hearts in the right place and are very special.  And, all I can say is God is Good!

But, wait, there is more…. When I actually got in touch with Keith, he told me that the Church had called and wanted him to fix the windows and give them the bill.  More of God’s Angels at work.  I can only imagine that someone who has seen me of heard of my plight got in touch with the powers that be in the Church and low and behold, they wanted to pay the bill for the windows.  These people are truly God’s Angels….God is Good!

So, I say to you, they are out there….The are tall, short, fat, skinny….They are men, women, children…..They are old, young and in betwee….They are rich, poor or just getting by….They are friendly, standoffish, or just a regular Joe….The see things and take action….For the most part, they wish to remain in the wings without people knowing who they are….They don’t want the attention….And, all I can say…is Thank You, Thank You, Thank You and prais God for all of His Agents and Angels here on earth!!!!!

Just like for people, cats have an extensive library of “How To For Dummies” books.  These are produced by the TabbyCat Press and are available for order on-line as long as you have the human’s credit card number.  Simply order the book(s) you want and also one for the human, as cover, and we will make a charge to the human’s account from Barnes & Noble.  The human will get their book delivered by the US Post Office and assume they must have ordered a book without remembering they had.  Your book will be delivered to you on-line in a secret file with a number for only you to access. 

This secret file will be imbedded in the human’s computer.  Those humans that are not diligent about “cleaning up the hard drive” will never know it’s there.  Also, the file is hard to detect and does not usually get erased when the human does regular maintenance.  If it does happen to get erased, simply send a note to the TabbyCat Press.  We will access your file and determine what files we need to send back to you.

We have a number of titles for you to choose from.  There is the every popular “Spider Hunting for Dummies”.  There is also “How To Get The Human’s Attention”.  And, of course, “Irritating The Dog” which is one of our most popular books.  For an entire list of our publications simply access TabbyCatPress.Com.  Click on the appropriate icon for your subject and peruse the list of titles.  Most of the books are priced at $19.95.

Each of the subjects has an interesting blurb posted for you to read to see if the book will answer your questions.  You are allowed to read the table of contents and to read an exerpt from each chapter.  We have translated the books into several different cat languages for you.  You can choose from “alley cat”, “house cat”, “Siamese Cat” (Siamese can easily be read by Burmese and Persian varieties) just to mention a few.  Again for the full list of translations, refer to the “language” icon.

The books also include plenty of illustrations for you to follow.  It shows you how to perform certain actions that are gauranteed to bring about results.  To mention a few….illustrations show “how to tear up an important document”, “how to hide the nail clippers”, “how to knock things off a high shelf” and many many more.  We promise that you will be pleased with the results if the instructions are followed.

You may ask, how do I get access to the computer.  Well, we can tell you how to do that too…. Most humans do not turn their computers off.  If they do, the switch can usually be operated easily by a cat.  Often there are blinking buttons that are to be pushed or simple switches that can be pushed from off to on.  If you forget to turn the computer off, well the human will usually think that they left it that way.

Our staff of computer specialists have imbedded in all icons that will come up on the computer once it is activated the most common cat language so that you can understand the icons.  Humans are unaware that this has happened and do not see the cat language that has been imbedded.  They see what they want to see…..They don’t think that cats are capable of operating a computer.

Of course, we know that cats are completely capable.  Since it is a matter of pushing buttons and we have been able to push buttons, literally, physically, and figuratively for a long, long time.

There is one caution that we will give to all cats who attempt to order Dummy books.  Make sure that you order something that your human will read so that he/she will not return it therefore negating your purchase.  As soon as the purchase has been verified, we will send to you an email with the instructions on how to download your book to your human’s computer.  Those instructions will include how to make sure that the human is unaware that you even came near the computer except to lay across the keyboard. 

We look forward to hearing from you.