Those of you who read this blog will figure out that I am in the process of getting a divorce from my husband. Yesterday was the day for the court ordered mediation. We have been dancing all around each other trying to come up with an equitable distribution of the marital acquisitions. Of course like most married and soon to be unmarried people, we cannot agree on what is truly equitable. This often reminds me of the story in the Bible when Solomon had to decide who gets the baby between two women. (Those of you who are church goers or Bible readers will know the story.)
Anyway, one of us…(not me) has been dragging their feet on trying to come up with an equitable solution. There have been all sorts of reasons “why” the meeting could not happen. Mediation had been court ordered and there was no getting out of it. But, that did not stop you know who from giving it a good college try.
I have and had provided my lawyer with all the requested information that the opposing side wanted. The other side, well a little less than forthcoming. Their modus of operation was to throw up all kinds of screens by making demands on me for information. Being the organized person that I am, I could fairly easily put my hands on what they were asking. Which, by the way, was information they had already seen months before when we had gone through non court ordered mediation….Another ploy to keep the legal action at bay.
The non court ordered mediation did not conclude with a solution. So, I alreayd knew that the court ordered one would probably end in the same fashion. (Oops! Now you know the solution or should I say non solution.) Well, this story is not about that so much as about the ordeal to get there and get this thing going.
As late as Thursday afternoon, the opposition as calling the mediator stating that there was no confirmation from their client for the meeting. (The judge had already told him earlier in the day that he was compelled to attend.) So, I was still up in the air about rather they would show or not.
I have a group of wonderful friends who have been praying for me and supporting me with words of confidence and consolation. So, even though I was fearful of the process, because of reasons not divulged here….I knew that I could make it through if I just stayed calm and collected and let my lawyer do the talking.
Seems the good old Devil wasn’t done with me though. What do we have coming through the same time as my mediation is suppose to be? Yep, you guessed it….a Snow/Sleet/Rain storm. This on top of the fact that we were not sure if the opposing party would show up.
So, the day dawned….or should I say, grayed….By the time I got on the road to the lawyer’s office, there was sleet and rain. When I arrived, I was ushered into a conference room and told how the proceeding would happen. The mediator came in. Then, came the wait for the opposing side. They finally showed. And, that part was a relief.
In they were ushered. We got the speech from the mediator, we were sent to our separate corners (or rooms as it were) and the game was on. Those of you who have been through mediation know that the mediator goes from room to room trying to figure out what can and cannot be worked out.
We could not get past the starting gate. Seems the lawyer the opposing party showed up with was a fairly new rookie. He had not had time to review the information and that was the first snag. Then there was the fact that my soon to be ex was making demands that did not really make sense and the new guy was not too willing to stand up to him and tell him how silly he was being.
After three long and tiresome hours, they, the lawyers were left to arguing out in the hallway. More than once, I had heard the raised voice of my ex through their closed conference room door. I know that he was not happy because he had been backed into a corner. He could not get out of it so he was going to “make the best” of it.
I had to take a day off from work to go to the mediation. I don’t work, I don’t get paid. So, not only was I already out a day’s pay, I had to also pay half of the mediation fee. I guess that the ex felt that he was sticking it to me. Making me suffer….for not agreeing to his demands.
I cam home with a small laundry list of what I am to provide for the opposition. Nothing that he doesn’t already know. But, hey, if he wants to see it again….well, I will try to comply.
We will meet again for round three. That will be either in front of a judge who will decide something neither of us like or back with the mediator.
The best part of the day….the beautiful snow….
Posted by newt221
Posted by newt221
Posted by newt221