Singing A Song

One of my favorite people, Dr. B., posts on his facebook page a song of the day everyday.  That got me to thinking about songs and singing.  For as long as I can remember, whenever I really get troubled or upset, hymns come to mind.  I catch myself humming bits and pieces of hymns from my childhood.  Then before long, I am singing snatches of the song.

It is really strange.  I don’t know why I do that.  I guess it was ingrained in me long before I had conscious memories.  I would hazard to guess that it may have hapened when I was very, very small and being rocked.  Either my mother or my grandmother must have either hummed or sang to me while rocking me.  Regardless, I always end up “there”.

The act of humming or singing in times of distress has been so ingrained in me that I do it at the drop of a hat.  The hymns range from “He Leadth Me” to “Sweet Hour of Prayer” and anywhere in between.  I even catch myself signing and humming snatches of more modern religious music.  (The Boss and I listen to it avidly at work.)  One of my favorites is “I Will Rise”. 

The songs are my way of comforting myself.  And, they work.  God has a way of sending a message to me through these snatches of song too.  He does put physical arm around me everytime I fell stress or disappointment or fear but he sends me messages through the songs.  He lets me know He is aware of my distress and He cares.  He also lets me know that I can comfort and protect myself with His help.  He is always there.

There are times when I would like to have a friend with sking on.  (a phrase one of my friends shared with me)  And, they do come along and provide the physical contact I need to feel comforted.  However, they are not always available when I feel stress or fear.

I was reading about cats and purring.  They purr at a megahurtz that stimulates “comfort” hormones to be released into the blood stream.  They do this not only when they are happy and content, they do it in times of stress, when they are fearful or when they are injured.  It also produces the stimulation needed to heal.

Maybe that is why I do what I do.  And, maybe that is why I love my kitties so much.  They sit with me and purr.  They snuggle up next to me on the couch and sing their hearts out for me.  Sometimes I join in with a song myself.  And, they do become my friends with skin on.  They are just not human.

By the way, two of my mothers favorite songs to sing were “I want a Buddy not a Sweetheart” and “Why don’t you love me like you used to do?”  And, for reasons that you who read my blog should know, she used to sing “I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch” when I was not happy about something and would frown and stick out my lips.

Music can have soothing qualities.

God’s Angels

You don’t know who they are.  You cannot pick them out of a crowd.  However, I can assure you that there are Angels sent directly from God here on this earth.  I have met a few in my lifetime, the most recently this past week.

You all know that my rear windows in my Jeep have been malfunctioning, or actually not functioning at all.  I have been riding around with one in the down and one in the up position for almost a month now.  Why?  Well, the simplest answer is that I was trying to figure ou the creative bookkeeping way to get them fixed.

I knew I did not have the liquidity to go to the Dealership and pay a huge amount for the “complete” window assembly because in their words, they did not sell the parts separately.  Also the cost of installation and all the other add ons that they do, made the trip to the Dealership something I was going to have to figure out how I could afford.

In the meantime, I have been riding around with an industrial grade garbage bag slipped over the door and taped down to keep out the rain.  Rain, it kept out, wind and cold, not so good.  So, I was also riding around with the heat on high on cold mornings. 

So, God’s Angels stepped in.  One of my friend, Keith, stated that he would look at the windows and see what he could do for me.  So, I thought I was set up and things would be taken care of at a greatly reduced price.  Keith is an Angel indeed.  We just had to coordinate when we could get together.  He stated that he would take apart the door and see what parts were needed and then basically go on a “hunt” to find them whether in a wrecked vehicle or at the parts department at the Dealership.

So, we met yesterday and he took a good two hours to take apart one of the doors and assess the issue.  He knows what he needs and is on his mission to find the parts.  He taped my windows in the up position until they can be fixed.  So, YEAH!, I have closed rear windows that I can look out of when merging in traffic and will not fall into the door frame.  No more rain or cold!!!

And if that was not enough….more Angels have stepped in.  One set of Angels, who wish to remain anonymous, offered to take the vehicle to the garage and have the window that was down repaired as a Christmas Gift to me.  I was totally floored by this!  These people are the type that no one would even begin to think were put here as God’s Agents but let me tell you that they have hearts in the right place and are very special.  And, all I can say is God is Good!

But, wait, there is more…. When I actually got in touch with Keith, he told me that the Church had called and wanted him to fix the windows and give them the bill.  More of God’s Angels at work.  I can only imagine that someone who has seen me of heard of my plight got in touch with the powers that be in the Church and low and behold, they wanted to pay the bill for the windows.  These people are truly God’s Angels….God is Good!

So, I say to you, they are out there….The are tall, short, fat, skinny….They are men, women, children…..They are old, young and in betwee….They are rich, poor or just getting by….They are friendly, standoffish, or just a regular Joe….The see things and take action….For the most part, they wish to remain in the wings without people knowing who they are….They don’t want the attention….And, all I can say…is Thank You, Thank You, Thank You and prais God for all of His Agents and Angels here on earth!!!!!

Letting Go

I don’t know who said it, but it’s definitely true….”You have to let go and open your hands to receive what God has ready to give you.”  Meaning if you are holding on to anything with a closed fist or very tightly, well, you migh just be missing out on something way better.

I am in the process of learning how to “let go”.  It’s not easy and it’s dang scary.  However, without letting go of what I have in my hands, whether it is a “physical” something or a “metaphorical” something I can’t “grasp” what else God has out there ready for me. 

There are a lot of “what ifs” and a heck of a lot of fear.  And the idea runs in the opposite direction of conventional thought some times… with that old “bird in the hand” adage along with tons of others that I could recite.

I could also recite just as many instances when if “we” had not let go… we would have been stuck.  For example, how about learning how to walk.  You can’t ever see the world if you don’t let go of that finger you are holding onto and walk by yourself.  Otherwise, you have to go where someone else wants you to go.

I have been letting go of a lot of thing recently…ideas, hurts, pains, past actions, ways of thinking.  I have also let go of a lot of physical things too.  Just think about the farm and my beloved Ranger Dog.  A house that I loved.  A life I thought was going to be “happily ever after”.  I sold all my jewelry I received from the ex.  That was a huge one!!!

And, all of this letting go is looking towards the future.  After all the talk about lamenting and singing the Blues, we learned today in church that the lamenter in Lamentations still had a glimmer of hope.  I realize that I do too.

If I keep and carry around all the things from my past and all the unfortunate things that have happened recently, well, there simply isn’t any room left for the new stuff that is coming.  And, I know it’s coming.  How?

Well, it is because of God’s promises.  He says that He has lots of stuff he wants to give us.  But, we have to be willing to accept it.  It’s kind of like waiting for Christmas when you are a child.  Or getting the training wheels taken off of your bike.  Or the first time you cross the street by yourself.  And much much more all rolled up into one.

A lot of my meditations this past week have been on God opening doors and windows and giving us opportunities.  I don’t want to be too tied down with things that I can’t just pick up and go where God is leading me.  (spritually and physically)  So, if that means letting go of some things and ideas, well so be it.

The prize in the next Cracker Jacks box may be the best yet.  But, I won’t know unless I let go of what I have in my hand to open the box and see what’s inside.

Here is one idea that keeps popping in my head.  I really, really want to “help”.  What does that mean.  I really, really don’t know at this point.  I know that I want to help those going through what I am going through.  But, I also want to help children who have had to this point and beyond a not so pleasant home life.  I know of this child right now who have panic attacks because of the situation he is in at home.  The parents are “trying” to help but if they don’t get that they are part of the problem, the curen will never happen.  However, I cannot say what I would like to say about they, themselves seeking professional help without alienating them all.  So, what I am doing is praying for the child and the family.  I know that helps…however, my hands just “itch” to reach out and hold that child and let him know that he is loved and he is just a little boy and cannot take on the world by himself…..Let the adults worry about the adult things.  And, if they don’t, well tell someone.  Believe me, I know that is easier said than done.  Because of the burdens I carried for so long that were foisted on me when I was just a child myself.

Regardless, the seed has been planted.  Those of you who read this….pray for me that I will know how I can “help” in a good and productive way.