Singing A Song

One of my favorite people, Dr. B., posts on his facebook page a song of the day everyday.  That got me to thinking about songs and singing.  For as long as I can remember, whenever I really get troubled or upset, hymns come to mind.  I catch myself humming bits and pieces of hymns from my childhood.  Then before long, I am singing snatches of the song.

It is really strange.  I don’t know why I do that.  I guess it was ingrained in me long before I had conscious memories.  I would hazard to guess that it may have hapened when I was very, very small and being rocked.  Either my mother or my grandmother must have either hummed or sang to me while rocking me.  Regardless, I always end up “there”.

The act of humming or singing in times of distress has been so ingrained in me that I do it at the drop of a hat.  The hymns range from “He Leadth Me” to “Sweet Hour of Prayer” and anywhere in between.  I even catch myself signing and humming snatches of more modern religious music.  (The Boss and I listen to it avidly at work.)  One of my favorites is “I Will Rise”. 

The songs are my way of comforting myself.  And, they work.  God has a way of sending a message to me through these snatches of song too.  He does put physical arm around me everytime I fell stress or disappointment or fear but he sends me messages through the songs.  He lets me know He is aware of my distress and He cares.  He also lets me know that I can comfort and protect myself with His help.  He is always there.

There are times when I would like to have a friend with sking on.  (a phrase one of my friends shared with me)  And, they do come along and provide the physical contact I need to feel comforted.  However, they are not always available when I feel stress or fear.

I was reading about cats and purring.  They purr at a megahurtz that stimulates “comfort” hormones to be released into the blood stream.  They do this not only when they are happy and content, they do it in times of stress, when they are fearful or when they are injured.  It also produces the stimulation needed to heal.

Maybe that is why I do what I do.  And, maybe that is why I love my kitties so much.  They sit with me and purr.  They snuggle up next to me on the couch and sing their hearts out for me.  Sometimes I join in with a song myself.  And, they do become my friends with skin on.  They are just not human.

By the way, two of my mothers favorite songs to sing were “I want a Buddy not a Sweetheart” and “Why don’t you love me like you used to do?”  And, for reasons that you who read my blog should know, she used to sing “I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch” when I was not happy about something and would frown and stick out my lips.

Music can have soothing qualities.

Saturday Morning

I couldn’t think of a catchy title so I decided to name it what it was….Saturday morning

I got up because the boys were hungry and wanted me to get up and feed them.  I came shuffling out of the bedroom rubbing my eyes and trying to adjust to being verticle rather than horizontal.  I did the “normal” procedure for Saturday.  I picked up the food bowls and gave the boys fresh water and cat food.  Then, I set about making the coffee for the moma….

All of this I do before I get my contacts in.  Without my contacts, the world is just a bunch of blurring things in different colors.  Nothing is distinct unless I get right on top of it.  Or, it gets right on top of me.  Every had a cat sitting on your chest waiting for you to open your eyes?

Any way, I shuffled into the bathroom and put my “eyes” in.  I came back out, got my coffee,  and realized that the blinds in the bay window were askew.  The “normal” is to have the blinds up during the day and almost alll the way down at night.  That way the cats can still see outside without the whole world being able to see the inside.

When I looked at the middle set of blinds, I realized they were completely down.  Upon closer inspection, I  realized that the little white things that were supposed to be on the end of the pull cords were gone.  The cords had been completely chewed through.

My first job was to find the little white things.  That got me started looking for all the little things that the cats have taken over the time they have been living with me, not to mention all the other toys I have given them that have come up missing.  There is was in my pjs crawling around on the floor with a flashlight and a sturdy tape measurer trying to retrieve all of the “prizes” that the cats have claimed.

I am sure that the boys were very confused.  They followed me around sniffing at the flashlight and trying to play with the tape measurer.  You see, I did not have a yard stick.  The tape measurer is one of those “professional” ones that is really strong and has a button on the back that can keep the measurer out without it retracting.  Hey, you use what every tools you have on Saturday morning to get the job done…..

The boys thought it was quite an adventure.  And, the stuff we found.  Not only was there stuff under every piece of furniture and appliance in the apartment, but I found loads and loads of cat har and dust bunnies.  I found cat hair dust bunnies!  I found a sponge that I used to clean dishes with.  I found the purple tops from milk jugs.  I found all the little kitty balls that get lodged under furniture.  I found toilet paper rolls….(empty of paper…they love to roll them around).  I found pens…loads and loads of pens.  They love those things. 

Anyway….I gathered up all of the stuff.  I divided it between what was the cats’ and what was mine.  Of course, the cats wanted not only what was theirs but what was mine too.  I hid the pens so they could not take them again.  I gave them all their toys.  And, before I could sit down and really enjoy my coffee, they had already lost some of them.  So, the cycle started again….

My point?  Well, I finally found the white things that go on the cords.  I reattached them to the cords.  And, one would think that all was well.  Well, last night, I hear the blinds rattling again, yep the boys were after the white things again…. So, I had to shoo them away from the blinds.

This morning, the white things were still in place.  So far, so good.

What I have I learned?  If anyone ever attempts to tie me up with blind cord, my boys can chew through it and free me.  So, that is one less thing I have to worry about.  The boys are on it!

Cat’s Books For Dummies

Just like for people, cats have an extensive library of “How To For Dummies” books.  These are produced by the TabbyCat Press and are available for order on-line as long as you have the human’s credit card number.  Simply order the book(s) you want and also one for the human, as cover, and we will make a charge to the human’s account from Barnes & Noble.  The human will get their book delivered by the US Post Office and assume they must have ordered a book without remembering they had.  Your book will be delivered to you on-line in a secret file with a number for only you to access. 

This secret file will be imbedded in the human’s computer.  Those humans that are not diligent about “cleaning up the hard drive” will never know it’s there.  Also, the file is hard to detect and does not usually get erased when the human does regular maintenance.  If it does happen to get erased, simply send a note to the TabbyCat Press.  We will access your file and determine what files we need to send back to you.

We have a number of titles for you to choose from.  There is the every popular “Spider Hunting for Dummies”.  There is also “How To Get The Human’s Attention”.  And, of course, “Irritating The Dog” which is one of our most popular books.  For an entire list of our publications simply access TabbyCatPress.Com.  Click on the appropriate icon for your subject and peruse the list of titles.  Most of the books are priced at $19.95.

Each of the subjects has an interesting blurb posted for you to read to see if the book will answer your questions.  You are allowed to read the table of contents and to read an exerpt from each chapter.  We have translated the books into several different cat languages for you.  You can choose from “alley cat”, “house cat”, “Siamese Cat” (Siamese can easily be read by Burmese and Persian varieties) just to mention a few.  Again for the full list of translations, refer to the “language” icon.

The books also include plenty of illustrations for you to follow.  It shows you how to perform certain actions that are gauranteed to bring about results.  To mention a few….illustrations show “how to tear up an important document”, “how to hide the nail clippers”, “how to knock things off a high shelf” and many many more.  We promise that you will be pleased with the results if the instructions are followed.

You may ask, how do I get access to the computer.  Well, we can tell you how to do that too…. Most humans do not turn their computers off.  If they do, the switch can usually be operated easily by a cat.  Often there are blinking buttons that are to be pushed or simple switches that can be pushed from off to on.  If you forget to turn the computer off, well the human will usually think that they left it that way.

Our staff of computer specialists have imbedded in all icons that will come up on the computer once it is activated the most common cat language so that you can understand the icons.  Humans are unaware that this has happened and do not see the cat language that has been imbedded.  They see what they want to see…..They don’t think that cats are capable of operating a computer.

Of course, we know that cats are completely capable.  Since it is a matter of pushing buttons and we have been able to push buttons, literally, physically, and figuratively for a long, long time.

There is one caution that we will give to all cats who attempt to order Dummy books.  Make sure that you order something that your human will read so that he/she will not return it therefore negating your purchase.  As soon as the purchase has been verified, we will send to you an email with the instructions on how to download your book to your human’s computer.  Those instructions will include how to make sure that the human is unaware that you even came near the computer except to lay across the keyboard. 

We look forward to hearing from you.

My Lowly Status

Once again, I have been reminded of my lowly status when it comes to the “pecking order” here in the apartment.  If you do not have four legs and are furry, well you rank in low.  In fact, I am more like a gofer than anything else. 

The last incident that humbled me was this morning after I got back from church.   McGyver was standing and staring at the wall by the apartment door.  He was mewing and standing on two feet and looking up the wall.  So, I went over to see if there was anything of which I needed to be aware.  There, high up on the wall was a tiny little spider.  McGyver indicated that he wanted said spider.  So, I picked him up and allowed him to swat the spider to the floor.

That got me to thinking about how I am treated by my two furry, male, roommates.  And, I realized that I am number three in the pecking order.  How I got to be the lowest on the totem pole, I am not sure.  However, it seems that is my lot in life and I should get used to being in my lowly position.

I realized that I am the food provider.  They don’t care where it comes from or if I have to work for it.  All they know is when their bowl is empty, the servant is suppose to fill it up again.  And, if I am lax in my duties, they will kindly remind me by walking across my sleeping body until I rise to do their bidding.

I am also the toy provider.  Lately, the new toy in our house is the q-tip.  Both boys love to run around with them in their mouths.  The throw them in the air and catch them.  They pull the cotton ends off.  They lose them under the closet door.  If  they lose the q-tip and I am around, of course, it is my function to locate the q-tip.  This can be done by locating the place where the cat is sitting and staring at the bottom of a door, often mewing and pawing at the door.

If I do not provide the q-tips quickly enough.  McGyver will go into the bathroom and start knocking the items on my vanity top around until I get the message and give him one.  Then, of course, to be fair, MoJo has to have one too.  Often though, since McGyver is the alpha cat, he will end up with two and MoJo will have none. 

I am cleaner of the litter box.  Both boys are good about using the litter box.  They will get in there and dig and dig to make sure that it is absolutely perfect before they do their “business”.   It often makes me think of those Japanese gardens which are raked into certain designs.  McGyver uses the box and rakes the sand one way.  MoJo will then go in the box and rake it the other way.  Obviously, they do not agree on the way that the litter lays.  And, worst of all, immediately after I have cleaned the litter box, one of them has to go in and christen it.  Never fails.

I am also a huge warm object to lay upon.  Now that the weather is getting cooler, I am back in business as a warmerupper.  Anytime I sit or lay on the couch, one or both of my boys are either on top of me, laying on my chest.  Or, if I have a throw, they are under it.  The latest craze is also for one to get under the throw and the other to play hide and seek.  When the hider is found, a wrestling match ensues.  So, you can see that I do not get much reading done if that is what I am trying to accomplish.

So, I guess I have to get used to the idea that I am just a lowly servant to the two “masters of the house”.

Spider Hunting For Dummies

Today!  For the startling price of just $19.95, you can have your very own copy of The Cat’s Guide To Spider Hunting For Dummies!  This is the newest thing out on the market for those kitties who just can’t seem to “bag that spider”.  You will learn the easy way to see and then catch that spider that has been just out of your reach!  There are plenty of techniques to use like….

1.  Call out to your person to alert him/her of the spider.

2.  Show the spider to your person by staring at a spot on the ceiling until they look up.

3.  Indicate with you head that there is a spider and vocalize it to your person.

4.  Walk around in circles on the floor or counter top calling “spider, spider, spider”.

5.  Stand on two feet and paw at the ceiling without losing your balance

6.  Techniques to catch the spider by jumping up in the air when it comes down from the ceiling.

7.  How to play with the spider without killing it.

8.  Why crippling the spider can make it walk in circles and keep it from getting away.

9.  How to bring the spider to your person as a gift.

And, much much more!  These techniques will help in so many ways.  Spiders will be falling from the ceiling simply for you to catch them.  You will be amazed at the sizes and types of spiders you can catch and play with.  And, not to mention how grateful your person will be for your expertise in catching and releasing.  They will scream with delight when you deposit that spider in front of them as a gift.

So call today…1-800-get-spdr.  Have your person’s credit card ready. 

The best is yet to come…for the payment of additional postage, you will also get Catch That Lizzard For Dummies and How To Make The Human Look….  The first 500 callers will get the option of doubling their order at no additional cost.  So, Hurry!  Call Now!  We have our operators on hand!  Meow, Miau, Yowl, Purr, Hiss….We speak all dialects of Cat.  Call Now!!!!

Playing Marco Polo

There is a game, I never played when I was a kid, called Marco Polo.  Evidently a person is blindfolded and is set out to “find” others.  The blindfolded person yells Marco and the hiders yell Polo.  The idea is to have the blindfolded person follow your voice but not to find you.

Well, McGyver has decided that he has his own version of this game.  He is not blindfolded.  Kinda hard to blindfold a cat anyway.  MoJoe and I do not hide…He can see us.  But, he still calls out like he is blindfolded and lost.  I am not sure why this game is such fun to him.  Maybe he just likes hearing his voice.  Or, maybe he wants to make sure we haven’t left him alone.

MoJoe and I, as I stated above, don’t hide.  We are in plain sight.  The apartment is only 600 square feet.  So there are few places for me to hide.  Mojoe can do a better job of hiding than I can.  And, often McGyver is right in front of us when he starts calling for us.  (Those of you who have cats, know the type of calling I am speaking about.  The kind where the cat sounds like he is lost or scared or in some type of danger.)

I really don’t mind this game so much during the day.  It’s only at night that I obect to the playing.  Often, I have just gotten into good REM and am nice and snuggly in my bed when the calling, or catterwalling, starts.  This goes on for a few minutes until he is satisfied that he has “found” us and all is well with the world again.

McGyver also does this in the mornings when he wants me to get up and feed him.  I guess he has decided unless he wakes me, often just a few minutes before the alarm goes off, that I will not get up in time to feed him much less make it to work.  If that does not work, he walks over me several times.  He has an uncanny knack for finding just the right spot to hit my bladder, ensuring that I will have to get up to go to the bathroom.  And, well, “since your’re up….”

McGyver has also developed a liking for q-tips.  Not only does he take them out of the bathroom garbage can, he tries to get them out of my glass apothecary jar on my bathroom counter.  He cannot quiet understand why he can see them but he can’t touch them.  He pushes the jar all over the counter.  I have a fear that he will push it off the countertop and it will break.  So, I have tried to develop diversions for him.

You would think the q-tip is a prized possession.  Even as I write this, McGyver is sleeping on the floor with his beloved and treasured q-tip right beside him.  Most of the cotton tips has been removed but it can still function as a wonderful toy.

There is another fascination of both cats….sticking there heads into any clothing opening on me they can find.  Meaning, if I am on the couch, they try to stick their heads up my shirt sleeves.  Or if they walk by me and see the opening of my pants leg, they try to stuff their heads up my leg.  Not quite sure why they do that.  Makes for some funny moments though.