I took myself to the movies this afternoon. That is important for two reasons. 1) I have not been out by myself to anything recreational in quite a while. And, 2) I have been wanting to see this movie since seeing the promos and hearing others speak about it.
I will address the above stated in order. I have not been out by myself recreationally in a while. I am really, even though most people won’t agree, shy. Because of that, it is hard for me to do things, like going to the movies, by myself. I have to talk myself into doing thing like going to the movies by myself. I can wait around for others to ask. I can wait around until others are available. Or, I can just pick up and go by myself.
I am working on the going by myself part. I have lived 50 something years and it is not going to get any easier. This is one of those “other things” that was ingrained in me from my childhood….”don’t go anywhere by yourself”… Well, taken literally, I would always have to have someone with me every where I go and in every thing I do. That would be kind of embarssing in the shower or in the bathroom period. Not to mention other places where you need to “go” by yourself.
Even so…I am having to work really hard on making myself do things solo. Some would find that hard to believe since I have moved to three different states by myself, went to college by myself, and currently live now, by myself. Oh I do have two cats but in this case, they don’t count. It is humans that count. I get edgy, antsy, fearful,(insert any word with a similar connotation) when I do things out in public by myself.
No, I don’t have agoraphobia…I just desire to have a companion along for when I go out for recreational purposes.
Now…on to The Help. I have to admit, that I have been trying to set up a date with friends to go and see this movie. So, friends….sorry…it just was not working out for us to all get together at the same time to go. Work schedules and living life go in the way. So, I did this one solo.
I had also mentioned seeing this movie, as an outing for one of my dear friends and myself, only to be told that she and another person had already seen the movie. She did not mean to insult me…but she said that she wanted to see it with someone other than a “southerner” so they would have the same perspective. I know I am not repeating it the way she said it. And, I know that she did not intend to hurt my feelings. And, I state here, they are my feelings and something I had to deal with….but the truth is, my feeling were hurt.
They were hurt on two levels…one because she did something with someone else other than me and two because she kinda “implied” that I had experienced the life that was depicted in the movie….at least on the prephifery. Again, my feelings….and I had to deal with them…I know that there was nothing at all intentional in her actions….
The Help…well, I certainly grew up in the South. I certainly did experience life in the South during the beginnings of the beginnings of the Racial Equality Movements. But, my life was nothing like any of those depicted in the movie…safe one.. I could relate most to Cecelia. Not in her “current” situation of marrying someone who had once been another of the prominent women’s boyfriend, but because of her desire to belong. She tried very much to fit in ith the “society” of the times only to be rebuffed on every ocasion. That I can relate to.
She was considered poor with trash. I guess if you look at the way I grew up, I could and probably was considered poor white trash. But…thanks to my being born into my family….I was always taught that “all men are equal” at least in the eyes of God. I was taught to say yes maam and no maam to my elders no matter what color they were. So, even though I might have known people when I was growing up who lived the life of those women in that movie, I certainly did not.
