Why is it that when people need help the most, they run from it? Really? I have done it myself. We have all done it. What makes us think if we “ignore” what is bothering us, it will go away. That doesn’t even work when we try it with people who “bug” us. Why would we think it would happen with something? It always finds us where ever we are and “surprise!” we are caught again. It is like those period commercials with mother nature. You know the ones I am talking about. She appears with a gift wrapped with a red bow. Well trouble is often a gift with a red bow.
The trouble can be shoved in a closet. We can try to give it to someone else. We can try ignoring it and hoping it will go away. We can run away from it. In fact, a lot of people chose that one. I have a friend who has run from one coast to another in order to avoid the trouble that is following her like a can tied to a dogs tail!
It frustrates me because I can see it. When she it thinking clearly, she can see it too. But, she is just not yet ready to admit that she just needs to take the box, unpack it and deal with the stuff that is inside. Yet, she gets surprised when it seems to find her no matter where she goes. Imagine that!
I also hate how we show people one thing to get them off the track of another. We can be fooled by that a lot. Just think about little children who want something and we get them interested in something else. The old bait and switch works well no matter what age you end up being. That is until you catch on. My ex-husband was wonderful at “look at the thing here while I do something else over there”. I am a pro when it comes to that game.
Before I caught on though…I would get interested in the other thing and for a time let go of the thing I was first interested in. That got me in a whole lot of terrible situations. I stayed way to long in a marriage that I should never have been in in the first place. Thankfully, with the help of counseling and some really good friends, I got out of that one.
Now, I am trying to help my friend. She has avoided me since she found out that I was on to her. I love her and want to help. However, I know my limitations. Can’t help anyone until that want to be helped no matter how much you want to. So, all I can do is let her know that I am on to her trick and give her the rope to hang herself.
Then comes convincing….We have all had someone close to us try to convince us that what they are doing is for the best. We know it is not…but they spend long hours trying to justify their actions or their choices. Some times, their choice is a good one. However, unless they choose to completely face what is wrong…they won’t heal. They simply put a scab over the wound that continues to fester.
When they hurt enough…maybe they will choose to face what is wrong. Or they could continue to try and run. Eventually, I think they run out of places to run. And, when you are cornered by the issue is really no time to try and decide how to handle it sanely….
