As I write this, one of my kitties, McGyver, is lying on the desk beside my lap top. Ever so oftern, he lets out a soft noise as if he is holding a conversation with me. I ask him a question or I give him an answer based on the inflection of his voice. Whether we are actually “speaking the same language” , who knows…. But, we both know the language of love.
I am not talking about “romantic love”. I am talking about regular every day love that we feel for each other. This language does not need words. It is spoken with a look or a touch. It hold reassurance from the giver to the recipient and vice versa.
For me to convey it to the boys, I pet them. I coo to them. I hold them close and listen to them purr. They lean into me while they are in my lap. They lay beside me on the couch. Mojoe like to push me with his head on my arm to let me know he wants to be touched. McGyver stands behind me and pokes me in the back.
Fathers, Mothers, Sisters, Brothers and Friends, sometimes even strangers. Reach out to those around them with the same type of language. The sermon yesterday was about Jesus and children. He welcomed them to him as we should welcome them to us.
Teenage girls desire to have touch…it teaches them good touch from bad touch. Studies show that about the time they need more touch….Fathers tend to be reluctant to touch them as they had when they were younger. Or just as they want more, they get less because it is discouraged…. How sad.
Boys need touch too. However they get less because of being considered sissy. So, dads and moms alike need to figure out how to give them love without making them “feel” sissy about it.
All people need touch. We are born to crave it. It is so sad that it is not freely given.
June 23, 2009 at 10:38 am |
Ms. Cindy,
Humans just aren’t meant for isolation, are they?
When my girl was little, I tucked her in every night (at least when I wasn’t at the hospital, and I was home most nights) kissed her on the cheek, and played her a song. She is all grown up, but I still hug her and tell her how much I love her.
As she got older, I left some things between her and her mama. I figure a young lady needs some space from old Dad, and I make sure to give her that. She has dates and all, but I don’t think any boy has ever intimidated her into a bad situation.
I like to believe she knew I loved her so much she didn’t have to seek any artifical love. I know it might not always work out that way, but I love her no matter what happens.
Dr. B
June 23, 2009 at 10:41 am |
Oh and I might add my boy ends every phone conversation by telling me he loves me. He always greets me a with a bear hug. He is so strong it about knocks the breath out of me, but I never complain. I believe in enthusiam. -Dr. B