I meant to do that…or….Hey Y’all watch this

I don’t know what it is about the male of any species….but they all have this inate need to do things that have women all over the world asking “What were you thinking?!!!”  I know that it will be hard for some of you men to admit that you carry that “gene”.  However, we all know that if you think back over some of the stuff that you have done or will in the future do, you will have to admit that you do not often think things through completely before doing it.

Things, actions, or stunts that sound like a good idea at the time often turn out not to be such a good idea later.  But, it you get out of it with your body pretty much intact and you are still living, the “antic” is often the source of many a conversation.  Women walk away shaking their heads wondering if you have lost your mind.  Men, while they may also shake their heads, are secretly saying “WOW” because it is something they probably would do themselves if given the chance and not much time to think about it.

Why do you think all those shows like “Jack Ass” have men and boys doing really stupid and daring things? 

Why am I writing about this?  Well, I now live with two males, cats though they are, they still have that same attitude about doing daring and dangerous things.  I catch myself saying, “you are going to fall” or “what were you thinking” more often than not.  They seem to have no fear of trying all types of feats.

I can tell when they are getting ready to do something because they get this focused look on their face and their tails start to wag in a certain way.  People who own cats will recognize the symptoms of which I am speaking.  After a few seconds, they act on whatever it is they were thinking, not taking the time to actually think it through.

I have a feeling that is why God created woman in the first place.  Man was walking around doing all sorts of things that could have cost him live and limb.  God probably got tired of watching the comedy of errors that was happening and thought, I have got to create a “keeper” that has a little more sense than I gave the man.  Man had to have someone right there with him that would say…”let’s think this through a little before we do it”.  Anytime he was left to his own devices, he would end up in a dilemma.

No wonder the “tree of knowledge” was so tempting to Eve.  She was having to “look after” another person who some times did not have a clue of how dangerous his antics were.  So, give him a bite of the fruit and see if that will help him a little.  Unfortunately, it backfired and the two were banished from the Garden of Eden.  However, I think Eve’s intentions were good.  And, remember, the account in the B ible was written by a man…. So he is not going to have the man look completely stupid.

That being said…. men are the ones who are daring.  Without being daring, we might still be living in caves and have no indoor plumbing.  They have their place.  They just need to be “watched” to make sure they don’t do too many stupid things.

Bathroom Habits

Since I have had the boys, I am never completely alone.  I like that.  They are plenty of company.  Some times even when I really don’t need the company.  Like when I am in the bathroom.

Like a lot of people who live alone, I don’t close any doors in my little apartment except the one to the outside world.  That one is closed and stays locked!  However, the inside doors tend to stand open.  And, open doors welcome others to enter.  So, I can’t blame anyone but me for the company in the bathroom.

Beside that is where their “bathroom” is too.  So, they have to have free access. 

McGyver, if he could express himself in human terms might ask why I drown myself with water every morning by stepping into the shower.  Or better still, why do I soak in the tub at night.  Don’t I hate it when my fur gets wet?  He is totally curious about the shower and my habits and why I use soap, afterall, it tastes pretty bad.

McGyver also like to watch me brush my teeth and put in my contacts.  In fact, he likes to stick his foot in the stream of water that comes from the sink.  Other times, he sits on the back of the toilet and watches the swirling activity (literally).

MoJoe doesn’t want anything to do with the “water” side of the bathroom.  But, he is the master of Zen when it comes to arranging the sand in the “sand box”.   It does not matter whether it is me or his brother that has been “in the box” he has to go in there and arrange it back to where his “Chi” is calm.  Obviously neither McGyver or I “know” how to do it right.

For my part, I am hoping that their observing of my bathroom habits will foster them into trying to use the toilet.  I had a cat named Bo Diddly who figured this out all on her own.  I never had a litter box and never needed on with her.  They may well figure out it is cleaner and healthier if they do the same.

By the way, McGyver has also learned how to fetch.  I say that rather than saying he is teaching me to throw.  I throw the little balls that they roll around.  McGyver will go chase them and bring them back for me to throw.  He is getting pretty good at it too.  MoJoe will not let him one up him though.  I am sure that he too will learn a new and awsome trick.

WFF Continued

Just when you thought that Mcgyver and MoJoe had reached the pinnacle of their ability with their very exciting and amusing wrestling, they have developed and new and even more fabulous and dangerous routine.  They have taken their act to new heights.  Literally!

Now, they wrestle on the arena floor for a prelude to the new act they have added.  When they have properly amused the audience with their feats of wrestling prowess, they then climb a tower and continue to wrestle while hanging pecariouly to the sides of the carpeted tower. 

One or the other will take a flying leap and begin to climb the tower, clinging by their toes.  The other, in hot pursuit will chase behind attempting to catch and throw his opponent from the tower to the floor below.  Luckily, the floor below has been padded so that the falling cat is not hurt by the fall.

The tower was specially constructed with places to hang and places to hide so that the opponent can be surprised.  The crowd is amazed and amused by the athleticity of the cats.

Of course, adding the new facet to their already dangerous and exciting act, required hours of training and practice.  I was amazed to find out that no saftey belts or bungee cords were used to allow either McGyver or MoJoe the chance to determine the force with which they need to leap to make a safe landing on the padded floor below.  What I did notice was that they practiced at various heights to determine the saftey of the padding below.

This person for sure is looking forward to seeing what else will be added to their routine.  I will keep you posted.

Fitness Training

Of course, if you are a memeber of WFF (World Federation of Felines) you have to stay in shape.  That means fitness training.  Wrestlers have to keep that lean and lanky body and be very agile in order to compete to their fullest ability.  In order to maintain that physique, training is involved.

First, you must be able to run. Running involves sprints as well as long distance.  At a moments notice, you need to be able to take off like you were shot out of a cannon.  Other times, you need to be able to run around and around and around your surroundings.  Then there are the times when you much run and jump on any piece of furniture or person you see.  This is important.  You must wait until that person is asleep or nearly asleep to achieve maximum speed and contact.  Late at night or nap time is recommended for the furniture jumping part of your training.

You must also set up an obsticle course.  That involves laying out at certain intervals balls and other objects that can be batted about in order to keep your forepaws strong.  This obsticle course should include things that balls and little fake mice with bells.  Make sure that you use the ones with bells at night so you can find them in the dark.

If any of these pieces gets lodged under the stove….Well, just sit and look at the stove until your trainer gets the idea that your equipment is under it.  Then have he or she retieve it for you.  To make sure they know what message you are trying to convey by looking at the stove, do this procedure as often as possible.  After all, the trainer needs to get exercise too!

Most important….find a sparring partner.  Practice hold and release tactics until you think you have them down.  You don’t actually need to practice this procedure with your opponent.  You can also practice this with your trainer.  Just be careful not to hold too long or scratch too hard.

Adoption

Those of you who are adoptive parents, of the human baby kind, know stuff that we adoptive parents of the animal kind soon find out.  You don’t have to go through birth to love a baby or animal like it is yours.  All you need is the capacity to love and the ability to take a child or animal into your home.  Please don’t get me wrong here, there is way more decision making and work involved when you invite a human child into your home.  But….the idea and the love involved are the same with human or with animal. 

Many animal lovers will tell you that they want a kitten or a puppy so that they can “train” it while it is young.  I feel that they, like some parents are missing out on limiting themselves to strictly “babies”.  Because there is much an older animal can offer.  I am not here to debate one way or the other.  I have experienced bringing home a baby animal and welcoming older animals into my home.  Both hold sweetness and opportunities.  You just need to be open and love.

Right now, I have two wonderful kitties in my life.  They were entrusted to me by a very special person who loves them just as much as I am growing to love them.  They brought joy and love to her life just as they are bringing it to mine.  While I write this, MoJoe is sitting beside my computer and McGyver is perched in the window. 

Their whole world, along with their mom’s, was turned upside down about three weeks ago when they moved across country to North Carolina.  My world had been turned upside down when I left the farm and my beloved Ranger Dog.  Given the opporturnity to take these two furry creatures into my home, I readily said yes.  Heather, without knowing me at all, trusted me with these two precious animals.  She had the word of her mother that I would treat her children well.

Although I grew up on a farm where we had at any given time  4 dogs an 20 some odd cats, theywere never really pets that were in the house.  We played with them.  However, they were farm animals and served their purpose.  Human contact was welcomed by the dogs who are pack animals but not so much by the cats that lived at the barn.

I have never, before now, had two indoor cats at the same time.  And, welcoming them in to my life, I was a little dubious that they would not bond with me since they had each other for company.  I knew I had to have patience and wait for them to come to me.  I provided a safe place to hide, food, water and the essential litter box.  Time would only tell if we would become a family.

I am happy to say that both kitties have begun the process of bonding with me.  McGyver is the more open of the two.  He now does not hide everytime  the door opens or closes.  He will come and greet me when he hears my voice.  And I can rely on him to tell me what has been going on while I was away.  He likes to talk.  He calls his brother when they are away from each other.  I have also discovered that McGyver likes to nip at you.  He does not bite hard, just a nip. 

MoJoe is the quieter of the two.  He is way more cautious than Mcgyver.  But, he is a lover.  He is getting braver as the days go by.  He is still a little nervous but steps out in faith that I am going to love him.  He loves  to get under the covers in the bed to sleep.  When I walk into the room and say something, he will move to acknowledge my presence.  He too has becomer braver about not running and hiding when things make noises or I make sudden moves.

It all boils down to love and trust.  We need to love the animals and they need to learn to trust us.  Then the relationship blossoms.  I cannot thank Heather enough for giving me her two special boys.  They have helped to fill a hole in my heart left from the separation from my Ranger Dog.  While I still do and always will miss my boy, these two have made the heartache easier to bear.  We will have many adventures together.

WFF Smackdown

Anyone who has watched wrestling (not college but the Hulk Hogan type of wrestling) on TV will appreciate this entry. 

What does WFF stand for?  Well World Federation of Felines!  And, I have had a ringside seat this morning!

In one corner, we have the wiry and wiley McGyver.  In the other, the supple and slippery MoJoe.  And, the best two out of three has been going on all morning long! 

The ears go down, they start circling each other and one goes in for the point!  McGyver will have the upper paw when suddenly MoJoe will either slip through his grasp or flip him and take control.  The bell rings and they go to their respective corners. 

I have to try and stay impartial because I like both of the players in this match.  However, I find myself rooting for the undercat, as it is….

All of a sudden, they look like they are going to kiss and make up when one will pull a fast one and flip the other on his back and go for the throat.  Kicking with the hind legs is strictly prohibited.  However, one or the other will try to get in a dig when the referee is not looking.

Since there is no defined “ring” the whole apartment is considered the “playing field” so to speak.  You never know when your opponent will pop up and attack!

McGyver is always calling out “slams” and “talking trash” to MoJoe.  MoJoe take it all in stride and is the better cat because he does not respond in kind.  He just bides his time and flips his advisary when the melee begins.

Eventually the battle of the beasts is called for a nap or a quick bite at the food bowl.  They call a truce and become friends for a while.  Then one will steal the other’s favorite toy and the fight is on again. 

I only wish I had a video feed so I could share this with my readers!  The only issue I have is when the fights start up again around 3:00 AM.  Unlike the boys, I need my beauty sleep!