Cindy’s Most Scariest Adventure

Most of you know that I work for a Vet.  Well, one of my duties is going in on the weekends to feed what animals are boarding.  This past Sunday was not different in that aspect.

I got up at dark thirty, grabbed a cup of coffee and got myself ready for the day.  After feeding and walking animals, I was planning on going to church.  Always being an early riser, I like to make it to the early service…Then I have brunch and enjoy the newspaper.

Well, this past Sunday, I pulled into the parking lot and started my day.  I walked in, disarmed the alarm and clocked in.  I had 5 dogs and 2 cats to feed and walk (doggies only get walks).  So, I started right in.  It is important to remember this all started around 7:00AM. 

I had walked three of the four dogs.  I had two little dachunds to walk (Forest and Jenny).  They had made a mess of their kennel.  So, I made sure the back door was securely closed and I let the pups out of there kennel to run around in the area while I was cleaning.  I had the door to the office area closed so they were confined to the kennel area.  The back door was unlocked as I had just walked back in and kenneled Cotton.  I did not expect any company so I turned to the job at hand.

I hear a beep from the disarmed alarm, alerting me that the back door had been opened.  I turned around to see a man standing there.  Needless to say, I was frightened and alarmed!  The pups ran right through his legs and out the door.  The animals in the kennels were barking and I was face to face with someone I did not recognized who had no business being there.  My heart was reved up and my flight or fight reflexes were on edge.

I first looked at his hands, which at the time were empty.  We were still a distance from each other but I was already assessing what to do next.  All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind…some of them primal.  Really, I could feel my body tensing for either flight or strike.  I quickly thought about whether I could get past him or if I could knock him down.  He was standing in the doorway so there was no way I could reach out and slam the door to protect myself or the other animals.  Meanwhile, the two pups were out in the yard running around and barking…free as could be.  (The yard is not fenced.  So, if they chose to do so, they could be gone in seconds…)  All of this was running through my mind in split seconds.

I yelled…not sure of the words I used…but feel some of them were not “church words”…I demanded he tell me who he was and why he felt he could just open the door and come in.  Still my body was ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice. 

This person who was unshaven and scruffy looking stated that he missed his little dog and had come to pick him up.  He stated he was sorry for letting the dogs out.  At that point, not knowing whether he was lying or not, I buzzed past him to see about rescuing the pups from the yard.  Forest and Jenny were dancing about barking along with the other dogs in their kennels.  I tried to get them to come to me.  But, this man wasn’t finished ruining my morning, he started trying to chase them down.  Well, they just kept getting farther and farther away.  I yelled at him to stop “trying  to catch” the pups and let them come to me. 

Well, Jenny finally ran up to me.  I snatched her up and ran for the door.  I got her in her kennel and went after Forest.  They are bonded well to each other so he came running after his sister.  I grabbed him up too and got him to saftey. 

Then, I turned my rath on the intruder.  I demanded to know who he was and why he thought he could just walk in to a building to which he had no ties.  He apologized only to the point of saying it was an honest mistake and that he wanted his dog.  I am sure my voice remained raised when I told him in no uncertain terms what I thought.

You see, the policy is no pick ups on Sunday.  So, how had this man just happened to show up at 7:00 AM to get his dog?  He never explained that little bit of information.  He just kept insisting that he had missed his dog, Tassil, and wanted to take him home.  Since he knew the name of the dog,  and I was starting to calm down a little, I knew then that I was not in immediate danger.

I stated strongly that he should have called or at the very least knocked before opening the door.  A door which has a sign on it at eye level that states “use front door”.  He knew the policy…but just missed his dog.  He was sorry that he let the animals out…but it was an “honest mistake”….  Honest mistake my A**.  

Well, I got his dog, the dog’s leash and other things and shoved him at his owner.  Then I shoved them both out the door and locked it. 

I finished up what I needed to do all the while thanking God for protecting me and for keeping me from harming someone else (who might have deserved it a little….).  I realized just how lucky I was that it was not someone who was intent on making trouble.  I made it to church and my heart finally slowed down some time later.

I shared my most unexcellent adventure with my co-workers and my boss on Monday.  There are a couple of take aways from this.  We periodically leave the door unlocked while walking our charges…(keys sometimes get put down or misplaced and it is rather embarassing having to call your boss or walk to his house in order for him to come let you back in).  So, keys should be on person and doors should remain locked.  I learned where the panic button was on the alarm keyboard.  Plolice come quickly in Davidson.

This is not the end of the story.  The owner brought the dog back the next day for a dental procedure.  When he came in he never once made any reference to the incident on Sunday.  When he came that evening to pick Tassil up, I gave him his dog…he never once apologized to me for scaring me so badly on Sunday….That really burned my butt!

There is one question….what was he doing out at 7:00AM anyway?  And what made him think he could just show up to get his dog?

ThanksGiving Memories

You know you are getting older when you can sit back and remember ThanksGivings past.  No this is not like the Ghost of Christmas Past full of regrets.  These memories bring a Mona Lisa type smile to my face.  Wonderful times out in the country.

I remember drawing and cutting out turkeys made with the outline of an outstretched hand on construction paper when I was in Primary School.  I remember lessons about the first ThanksGiving in Grammar School that included why we have ThanksGiving to begin with.  I remember learning about relicious freedom and trials and tribulations….that caused people to come to the New World.  But that is not what this is about.

When we were kids, we would congregate at my grandparents house which was a little more than two miles away from ours.  ThanksGiving morning would dawn with the wonderful smells of food being prepared to take over.  Pumpkin pies would have already been made…cakes and other types of pies would also have been prepared.  But, the main food of the day….turkey, dressing, and various vegetables would be on or in the stove cooking and bubbling away.  It was wonderful to wake up to all the various scents emanating from the kitchen. 

I would climb out of bed (never sure why they use that phrase climb out of bed….but sure it is for a reason) and walk sleepy eyed down the hall to see what was going on in the kitchen.  My mom and my grandmother would be busily stirring, chopping, basting, and chatting about the day.  The aroma from the food would be mouth watering…I could hardly wait to dig in to the wonderful food prepared with love.

I really don’t remember what breakfast would entail on those days.  I do know that the TV would be tuned to the channel to watch the ThanksGiving days parades…we like Macy’s because of all the balloons, etc. 

Some ThanksGivings the weather would be cold and clear, some would be cold and cloudy, some would be warm and sunny, or warm and cloudy….One never knows, in the deep South what the weather will be.  Regardless, we were always anticipating who we would see at my other grandparents house.  There would always be a gathering of Great Aunts and Uncles, Aunts and Uncles and cousins of all ages.  Mostly the cousins were older than we were, my mom being one of the younger siblings of seven.

I could hardly wait for the car to be loaded with us and the food to travel the short couple of miles to Mama (pronounced with short a like in math) and Pops.  We were usually the first to arrive.  Not to be outdone, Mama would have wounderful aromas emanating from her kitchen too.  Usually sweet potato caserole, macaroni and cheese, rice…etc  (You cannot have a dinner with my family without it being heavy on the starches!)

Soon, other members of the tribe would start showing up.  All would bring in a dish or two from their own homes.  The food would be arranged on the counter and over the kitchen table.  We kids would be running in and out of the house stealing the occasional bite of what ever we could get our little hands on.  Cookies, celery sticks, a bite of turkey skin, a piece of ham….it all went down as quickly as it was offered.

The adults would congregate in three places, kitchen, livingroom and porch (if the weather allowed).  Some of the men would walk in the woods with a gun or two between them…while the final preparations were made.  Then….we would all be called to the livingroom to hold hands and say the blessing.  Pop almost always gave the blessing.  Some time Uncle Paul would be called upon.  Never a woman….wonder why?  Anyway, I can remember when I was really young, it seemed like that blessing went on for ever!  After the Amen, we would all line up to fill our plates with the most wonderful food I had ever eaten….

After the main mean….the cleaning up started.  People sat around appetite sated for the time being.  We were never a family that had dessert right along with the meal.  There was always a lull before the desserts would hit the table.  During that lull, I would usually get one of my family members to tell stories about their youth.  Or, if I were lucky, I could get Uncle Henry to tell us some ghost stories.  I would sit and listen as long as they would talk. 

Then, after a respectable length of time, it was time for dessert.  Cakes, pies, cookies, etc….would come out from the back porch.  The table would be laden with all sorts of wonderful desserts.  My favorite by far was the pumpkin pie with coconut cake running second.  Others went straight from the pecan pie…

When evening drew close, family members would start packing up to go to their various homes.  We always shared food from each others homes.  Why take home what you brough?  Get something from one of the other family members….  Hugs and kisses were passed around. 

As I got older, I was allowed into the kitchen (or drafted) to help with the clean up between dinner and dessert and then after dessert when all the food was finally cleared away.  Those were sweet times too.  Women talk differently when they are working together in the kitchen…They really do.  Confidences, old family secrets and other things were discussed.  Hands in dishwater, others drying dishes… 

Sweet, sweet memories.

This Time

This time last week, I was with several of my friends and about 50 other women at a Women’s Retreat for the women of our church.  We drove up to Black Mountain on a dreary, rainy and cold Friday morning and came home on Sunday afternoon.  We stayed at Ridgecrest Conference Center.  I roomed with my very best friend.  It was a good and much needed rest and a wonderful time spent in reflection.

This time last year, I was struggling with being recently divorced.  I was also working myself into a lather about how my ex had not complied with his part of the mediation agreement.  I was barely getting by on my 30 hour a week job that was soon to be turned into 20 hours.  I had to find a place to move to since the rent on my then apartment was going up more than I could afford.  I was miserable….

It is amazing how time can change so quickly.  On minute, you think you are going to fall into the chasm never to be seen again.  The next, you are amazed at how much you have been blessed.  I am so very thankful for all of the blessing that have come my way in the past year!  (Guess this post is appropriate since ThanksGiving is just around the corner.)

Blessed I am, though some times I don’t see it.  I ask God to show me and He does.  He often reminds me of where I was and where I am now.  Life is not all rosy…(I still have that pesky ex trying to “mess” with me over the house.  Believe me that is a long story not to be gone into right now.)  I wake each day with a song in my head.  Most of the time, they are songs of praise.

I have a wonderful new job…well 6 months new.  I absolutely love going to work.  I am thankful everyday for the chance to make a difference in some small way.  I enjoy the people with whom I work.  My boss is kind and willing to teach rather than preach.  He does not raise his voice but gets his point across.  I am so eager to please because of the encouragement I receive.

My job…well, some people would say that it’s not much.  A lot of people would not want to do what I do.  But, I have been in the corporate world and would rather work where I am now than to go back and make mega bucks doing something I hated.  You see, money is not, nor has it been everything to me.  I need only enough to tithe, pay my bills and have a little left over for saving.  (The saving part is still a little difficult since I am still busy paying off huge debt…But I am getting there.)

Back to my job….I get to be around animals all day long.  It is great!  (Until we have to send one to heaven.  But even that can be a blessing.)  I get to love on puppies and kitties.  I get to pet and scratch ear on dogs and cats.  I get to meet a lot of people.  And, most of all, I get to help.  What little I do makes a difference.  I clean cages.  I scoop poop.  I feed animals on the weekend when they board.  I help collect blood and urine.  (Literally I walk behind a dog with a ladle waiting for it to pee.  Looks funny to the owne and to the dog.)  What I do makes a difference!!!

I am sure that most people leave there and don’t remember me.  I am sure most of the animals leave there and do remember me.  I don’t need to be famous or be singled out for an important award.  I will never win the Nobel Prize…but I make a difference.  I am not just a cog in the corporate engine.

All of this came about through God’s blessings.  I know from whence my help comes….It comes from the Lord.  And, I am so very, very thankful to Him and to all my friends who have stood beside me around me and behind me. 

Sure there are bumps in the road.  Insecurities always spring up.  What if’s and only if’s can cloud any day.  But, I don’t stay in the pity puddle long before I realize that I should sing songs of praise rather than wallow in my sadness.

It is another gorgeous Fall day today.  I hope I had the chance to lighten someone’s load a little.  It only takes a second to smile or say a word of kindness to someone.  Try it….

One Man’s Trash

This morning as I was leaving to go to work, with coffe in hand, I exited my apartment to find a bag of garbage standing by my front door.  Yes, a bag of garbage.  Well, needless to say, I was a little perplexed.  You see, I had not put it there.

I did not quite know what to think.  It was just standing there by the door.  My doorbell had not been rung so, I did not think it was a prank.  Although it could have been since it is only a few days from Halloween.  I honestly did not know what to make of it.

I hoped whoever the garbage belonged to would come back some time during the day and pick it up and deposit it in the trash bins.  But, when I arrived home tonight.  The garbage was still by my door.

So, I began to pursue to owner of said garbage.  I asked one of my neighbors I saw out walking his dog if he knew anything about the “gift of garbage” that had been bestowed upon me.  He stated he did not know “who would do a thing like that”.  Also a “how rude” was said before he entered his own apartment.

So, I began a door knocking campaign.  I knocked on my immediate neighbor’s door and received no answer.  So, I moved on down the hallway to the next door.  Before I got there, I was greeted by a little boy who “with eyes as big as saucers” told me he did not know anything about the garbage and it did not belong to him or his family.  When asked if he was sure, he adamantly stated that he did not know from whence the garbage came.

So, I went back to the bag and noticed there were envelopes in the garbage.  One was addressed to the very apartment to which I had just been.  So, I went back and knocked on the door and spoke this time with the mom.  She said that yes, she had told her son to take out the garbage this morning.  I told her that said garbage had made it as far as my front door and no farther.

This is where I was expecting her to apologize and say that “it will not ever happen again” (even though it should not have happened this time).  That she would speak with the young man and have him apologize to me.  I got neither of those.

You see, it states in the apartment “handbook”….you are not to leave garbage outside your door.  And, here today, garbage was outside my door all day.  Making me look like I am disobeying the rules….

Also, the apology I got was less than sincere.  She did, however, have her younger son remove the bag from my doorstep. 

I guess I am going into this because I am disappointed in the mom and in the son.  The mom because she acted like it was “no big deal”….Well, she did not have garbage deposited outside her door….  (Bet she would have changed her tune then).  And, disappointed that she had not taught him better.  I would never have been allowed to do anything like that when I was a kid.  And, if I did, punishment would ensue with me also having to apologize.

Where are manners and good breeding.  You don’t have t be rich to have either.

Catching Up

It has been a couple of weeks since I wrote anything on the blog…So thought it was time to catch people up on what’s been going on.

I really, no really, enjoy my job.  Not only do I learn something new daily, I have all sorts of “adventures” that are amazing and funny. 

Currently, at work, we have expanded our hours to include adding an extra day during the week, Wednesdays, where we are open with a Vet in the office.  We also have a Vet in the office every Saturday now rather than every other Saturday.  This change has allowed the practice to hire another Vet to “fill in” the extra hours.  The past two weeks have been “learning experiences” getting used to the ways of the new Vet when she is in the office.

The new Vet’s first two weeks with us have been rife with things that are out of the “norm” for our everyday office procedures.  Right from the start on her first day with us, we have had more of our odder clients come in with their animals.  She has already had to send at least four of our clients’ animals to “heaven”, not something you want to have to do any time much less when you first start with a practice. 

So, a little about her.  She is kind and compassionate, a pleasure to work with and to get to know.  She has looked to the staff to give her the information she needs to meet the client and treat the animal.  That she has in common with the other Vet with which I have worked. 

Her first day, we had one client who would not let go of her animal.  We had to examine the pet on the floor in front of the owner.  Yep, down on the floor, listening to heart and lungs, drawing blood and giving vaccines.  Being a little “anxious” about drawing blood for the first time in a while, we had planned on taking the dog out of the room to drawn the blood.  Nothing doing, the owner said she would come too…. So, the new Vet had to comply.

That first day, we also had a pet we could not calm enough to draw blood.  The three of us, the Vet, me and the receptionsit, tried to corral the animal…Again nothing doing… 

To top off the day, we had a rescue do come in.  We have a client who takes in and fosters rescue animals.  This dog was a huge, and I mean huge, Mastiff.  He was old and was having problems walking.  We had to use a sling to support his rear end to get him into the office.  So, once he got into the exam room, he plopped on the floor and pretty much did not move except to wag his tail. 

Imagine four women (including the foster parent) trying to manouver a dog that weighed over 100lbs.  Yep, a comedy like the Keystone Kops!  It is a wonder that someone did not come out of the room with a wrenched back.  The dog was sweet and tried to be cooperative but when your back end does not want to obey, not much you can do.  We crawled all over that dog on the floor to give him and exam.  I felt like I was playing Twister…rigth food red, left foot yellow…  I was also the human turnequet trying to get blood which we were never able to draw.  We stuck that dog so many times….poor puppy!

Through all of this the new Vet has been a real trooper.  She has had to express anal glads because the owner would not let a technician do it.  She has been growled at hissed at…forced to crawl on the floor to do exams.  Yet, she has come back every time she is scheduled to be there.  To me that show dedication.  I know she will have plenty of stories with which to regale her family and friends.

I have to admit that I am kind of glad I am no longer the new kid on the block.  But, I also know the things she is going through.  The fear that she is being judged and rated by others who have come before her.  The hope that she “gets it right”.  The ability to “jump in” feet first and come up for air and start swimming. 

She has been living her a whole 4 weeks now.  I have tried to make her feel welcome.  I have invited her to church and have given her tips on where to go for good food.  Hopefully, she will soon feel at home and comfortable.

Visiting Mom

This time last week, I was getting ready to head back to Huntersville.  I had gone down on Saturday to visit my mom and my step-dad.  I had not seen them since Christmas and it was time to make the trip.  Even though I drove down and back in the rain to do so, the trip was well worth it.

Mom had been saying for months that she needed to see me.  I don’t know why.  I am the same as I always was.  I guess you have to be a mom to understand the “need” to see one of your children.  I know she thinks and “worries” about all of us.  She has my sister and one of my brothers near by.  I live about three hours away (by car).  And, the Dr. brother lives in Lake Charles, LA. 

When we talk on the phone every Sunday evening, Mom always wants to know how I am and what is going on.  I fill her in on stories about what has or will be happening at work.  She likes to hear me talk about the dogs that I have met at the practice.  She really enjoys the stories I tell about those boarding over the weekend.  I fill her in on which ones I live and which ones I tollerate.  I love to hear her laugh about my adventures.

Well, she has been trying to figure out how she could get “up here” to see me.  And, I finally had the opportunity, so I planned an over night trip to satisfy her need to see me and my desire to allow her to do so.  Since getting my new job in March, I have been working on weekends and then I had car issues.  So, with a free weekend and my car repaired, the time was right to make the trip.

I got there before lunch on Saturday.  Visiting my mom involves a lot of sitting in the “living room” because she and Jay (my step-dad) don’t get out much.  Mom is still pretty ambulatory but does not like to leave Jay.  Jay is getting more and more homebound.  Going out only to go to the Doctor or the church.  Occasionally you can get him out for a meal but not often. 

He feels safer at home because he is less and less steady on his feet.  Seems that his old heart has some trouble pumping hard enough when he first stands up causing Jay to sometimes faint.  (I agree I would rather be at home than out if I felt like I was going to fait too!)  He has the standard aches and pains of someone his age (I actually think he does a lot better than most being that he is 88 years old.)  He has taken to walking with a walker.

This walker is something else…It is the elite mode.  It has a seat and it had hand brakes.  All it needs is some headlights and a racing stripe or two and he would be “styling”.  He uses it more for safety rather than needing it go get around.  He whips all around the house with this thing.  (It makes me think of a young child who can walk very well but just needs to hold on to that little finger to have the confidence to do so.)  But, if he feels faint…he can quickly turn around and sit down.

Saturday afternoon, we made a visit to my sister and brother-in-law’s house.  We stayed there for a few hours.  Involving more sitting in the “living room”.  We traded stories about our pets.  Each of us kids have pets and so do most of the grand children.  We have always loved animals and it shows.  My sister has two cats named Teddy and Henry.  She is was more inventive than I am when it comes to names….mine are Orange and Lump.  They started out life as Mcgyver and MoJoe…but those names did not match the kitties.  So, when I got them, the names went away….Orange is, believe it or not, an orange tabby.  Lump…is aptly named because that is what he is. 

We had vegetable soup for dinner.  It was wonderful.  Mom always makes a huge pot of it when I come to visit.  Used to be the soup was made with all the vegetables left over from previous meals….not enough to serve again by themselves but enough to flavor a tomatoe based soup with a little ham or stew beef thrown in.  Now, the soup is all out of cans rather than from the garden…but the love put into making it is still the same.  The soup is always served with rice…that is always how it has been eaten as long as I can remember.  It makes it last to feed a horde of people…(lessons learned during lean times)  We also have cornbread with it.  Nothing better than sitting down at the table with a bowl of my mom’s soup and some cornbread….YUM!

Sunday was more sitting.  Mom and I met my sister and her husband at a local buffet resturant for lunch.  We had an early one as they had things on their agenda and I had to make plans to drive back to Huntersville.  The lunch was the highlight of the visit I think.

We told stories from the past about our Grandfather.  We laughed about stories Mom told about her childhood.  Most of the stories were centered around church and the goings on that happen during sermons in the various denominations where they live.  Mom regaled us with stories of women so filled with the “spirit” that they thrashed about so much that their hair (which could not be cut if you were saved) would come undone and be flung back and forth with force as the spirit filled twitched and rolled around on the floor or running up and down the aisles of the little country church. 

My sister and I recounted how frightened we used to get during these types of displays during revivals or church services.  Then my sister, straight faced, asked my mom why she kept cutting our hair short if you had to have long hair to be saved?  We rolled in the floor over that one too.

We laughed so hard we made spectacles of ourselves.  But, since almost everyone knows everyone in this small little city on the coast, those who saw us chalked it up to our visiting with each other.  That is what is so “neat” about this little town…you know just about everyone and every time you go out, you run into someone you know.  Everyone speaks to each other and greets you like a long lost friend.

I hated to pack my car and pull out on the road but it had to be done.  Mom sent home the rest of the soup with suggestions on how to cook rice to go along with it.  She offered more food and sweets….she offered gas money….  I saw her standing at the door waving as I drove down the street starting my trek home to NC. 

Can’t wait to talk to her today….

The Help

I took myself to the movies this afternoon.  That is important for two reasons.  1) I have not been out by myself to anything recreational in quite a while. And, 2) I have been wanting to see this movie since seeing the promos and hearing others speak about it.

I will address the above stated in order.  I have not been out by myself recreationally in a while.  I am really, even though most people won’t agree, shy.  Because of that, it is hard for me to do things, like going to the movies, by myself.  I have to talk myself into doing thing like going to the movies by myself.  I can wait around for others to ask.  I can wait around until others are available.  Or, I can just pick up and go by myself. 

I am working on the going by myself part.  I have lived 50 something years and it is not going to get any easier.  This is one of those “other things” that was ingrained in me from my childhood….”don’t go anywhere by yourself”…  Well, taken literally, I would always have to have someone with me every where I go and in every thing I do.  That would be kind of embarssing in the shower or in the bathroom period.  Not to mention other places where you need to “go” by yourself. 

Even so…I am having to work really hard on making myself do things solo.  Some would find that hard to believe since I have moved to three different states by myself, went to college by myself, and currently live now, by myself.  Oh I do have two cats but in this case, they don’t count.  It is humans that count.  I get edgy, antsy, fearful,(insert any word with a similar connotation) when I do things out in public by myself.

No, I don’t have agoraphobia…I just desire to have a companion along for when I go out for recreational purposes. 

Now…on to The Help.  I have to admit, that I have been trying to set up a date with friends to go and see this movie.  So, friends….sorry…it just was not working out for us to all get together at the same time to go.  Work schedules and living life go in the way.  So, I did this one solo.

I had also mentioned seeing this movie, as an outing for one of my dear friends and myself, only to be told that she and another person had already seen the movie.  She did not mean to insult me…but she said that she wanted to see it with someone other than a “southerner” so they would have the same perspective.  I know I am not repeating it the way she said it.  And, I know that she did not intend to hurt my feelings.  And, I state here, they are my feelings and something I had to deal with….but the truth is, my feeling were hurt. 

They were hurt on two levels…one because she did something with someone else other than me and two because she kinda “implied” that I had experienced the life that was depicted in the movie….at least on the prephifery.  Again, my feelings….and I had to deal with them…I know that there was nothing at all intentional in her actions….

The Help…well, I certainly grew up in the South.  I certainly did experience life in the South during the beginnings of the beginnings of the Racial Equality Movements.  But, my life was nothing like any of those depicted in the movie…safe one..  I could relate most to Cecelia.  Not in her “current” situation of marrying someone who had once been another of the prominent women’s boyfriend, but because of her desire to belong.  She tried very much to fit in ith the “society” of the times only to be rebuffed on every ocasion.  That I can relate to.

She was considered poor with trash.  I guess if you look at the way I grew up, I could and probably was considered poor white trash.  But…thanks to my being born into my family….I was always taught that “all men are equal” at least in the eyes of God.  I was taught to say yes maam and no maam to my elders no matter what color they were.  So, even though I might have known people when I was growing up who lived the life of those women in that movie, I certainly did not. 

 

In The Middle

Most of you who read my blogs know that I just recently got a peramanent gig with a small animal vet in ther area.  The office is fairly small.  In fact, there are four of us there who are full time.  The Vet, of course, the “front office” person, the Pet Nurse/Technician, and me, the “anything that needs to be done” person.

I absolutely love my job.  I get to love on the pets that are brought in to the office.  I get to learn new things about animal care.  I work with some really awesome people who genuinely care for animals.  Oh, like any job, there are some low times.  I cannot say that I am enamored of cleaning cages, or cleaning up pee, poop or vomit, or mopping the floors.  But, I gladly do those things that are not so appealing because the rest of what I get to do is totally awesome!  I can truthfully say that I am so very thankful for this chance to make a difference.

That being said.  I am also the “person in the middle”.  What does that mean?  Well, I have a “realationship” with the front office person and one with the Pet Nurse/Technician.  Some times, it is hard to remain like Switzerland and be neutral.  Both the “front office” person and the Pet Nurse/Technician bend my ear about the other when there has been a particularly stressful day.  Most of the time, I can remain in the “neutral” position.

What does that mean?  Well, that means that I allow the other person to vent without joining in the farcas.  Meaning, I ususally do not also offer up negatives when the person is venting.  Some times, I will say to one or the other when they are venting that I feel they have a legitimate issue.  But, most of the time, I only offer an ear for the person to vent.  I may suggest looking at the situation from the other person’s point of view.  I definitely do not add fuel to the fire.  Rather, I try to put out the flame before it becomes a raging fire.

This is not always easy to do.  When you have an office as small as ours, it makes life way easier when everyone works together rather than having two ends pulling against eachother with me in the middle.  Being able to stand back and look at each person objectively, I see both their good and bad qualities….And, by far for both of these people, the good qualities out weigh the bad.  They are both caring and kind people.  The simply see situations from different aspects.

Example???  Well, the “front office” person is the one who has the first contact with most of our clients.  So, when someone calls in with an animal they want seen, she wants to get them in as soon as possible, especially if they have an illness or complaint that needs to be addressed.  That means that some days, we are overrun with appointments over and above the ones already scheduled.  This makes the “back office”…(the Vet, Nurse and me) have to scramble to provide the best care possible in the time allotted.  And, it shortens our mid day closing…this is the time we use to catch up on notes, mopping, pet care for drop offs, etc….  So, nerves get short and there is tenseness because we all feel the “pinch”  the Vet and Nurse more than me…I just simply do what I am told, head down and plowing through it.    So, the grumbling begins….

Converse…If the Pet Nurse/Technician is working diligently to get pets seen and things done for their release and the “front office” person is not in the “loop” about what is going on….it causes tenseness because she is the one who needs to let the pet owners know what is going on…or she is also the person who is being seen first if we cannot get them in a room right away… Needless to say, not all exams take just 30 minutes which is the allotted time.  If they run over..well the “front office” person feels the “pinch” and wants to know what is “taking so long” and why….  Again tenseness.

When there is tenseness, people say and do things they might not actually do if things were calm and cool.  So, I try to be the go between to keep the peace…I cannot always keep the flame from bursting into a full fledged fire.  But, most of the time I am successful.

I am going to say something that just popped into my head…but it is totally true!  The way I grew up…not making waves and trying to keep the peace in the house by being the go between or the person who tried to keep the ship afloat totally trained me for my current position.   Trying to make sure that things go as smoothly as they can on tense days has to be someones job…..guess it is mine.  I stepped into it.

The past week has been particularly difficult because we have had only one computer since of ours died.  We had three people trying to use one terminal.  Again, each had a different perspective as to what the computer was needed for.  So, tempers were flaring and to everyone’s credit…when things got really tense and hot, everyone would go to their perspective corners and take a breath…By not siding with one or the other, I could efficiently work with both of them.

Being Relational

 A dear friend of mine and I had an email discussion about friendship and being “relational”.  I also heard the word again in church today.  So, it got me to thinking.  What is being relational?

I shared with my friend that I had grown up pretty much feral.  Once we could feed and dress ourselves, we were pretty much left to our own devices.  The way I grew up, we were essentially just six people who happened to live in the same house.  My mom, grandmother, my two brothers my sister and me.  Everyone had their own agenda and we did not do much of any talking or planning to do things as a family.  There was no talk over the dinner table about how anyone’s day was or what had happened at work.  We pretty much sat down, ate, cleaned up and went out own ways.

I am pretty much thinking that “being relational” is a learned behaviour.  Rather than being inated or genetic, it is something that is learned by watching and interacting with others.  If you live in a household like mine was, I think it might be hard to learn this behaviour.

For the longest time, it has been preached to me that to be loved, you need to be useful and “good”.  That meant not making waves, and being helpful in any was possible.  So, that is how I have operated up to now.  It is not necessarily a bad way to operate.  But, it does set you up to being used at times by those whose motives are not pure and good.

Being useful and good and being realtional are not mutually exclusive.  But, they can exist separately from each other.  I am still at a loss though when someone says to me “do you want to be relational”?  What exactly does that entail….?  I know it has something to do with experiencing life with each other… sharing, growing, listening, feeling, ….all those other “ing” words.

Maybe the question should be….are you willing to show me how to be relational?

Princess Ella

A couple of weeks ago, someone called into our office and asked if we could give them suggestions for a pet sitter.  My co-worker, knowing my current financial situation, suggested me as a likely candidate.  The requestor of the sitter, a client of our office, was in need of someone to care for her dog, Ella, over the upcoming weekend.

Ella, the dog,  is a fairly small white dog with a curly coat.  She is older and her owner dotes on her very much.  When I spoke with the client  I did not realize actually who she or Ella was.  I readily agreed to meet and discuss the opportunity for me to “sit” with Ella over the weekend.   I was given directions to the house and we agreed upon a time to meet.

The house to which I drove is in the “Pennisula”.  If you live near me, you recognize the term.  It is a “posh” community on Lake Norman.  The houses are huge and ostentatious.  And, it is a “desired” address for most who live in the area.

I arrived at the stated time and was greeted by Ella and her owner.  The house was not “on the water” but was still a huge domicile.  It was built on a smaller lot, the building taking up most of the space.  The front was brick and cedar with a huge glass front door.  I was adequately impressed.

The owner and Ella allowed me entrance into the house.  There was some small talk, then we got down to business.  Seems that her previous sitter was no longer available..”her website is down and she is not answering the phone”.  Maybe that statement should have given me cause to pause but, I did not take heed….

I was given a tour of the home.  Shown where the essentials were.  Then, we discussed the care and feeding of Ella.  Seems Ella has a very definite routine you must follow to ensure success…  Ella actually eats better than I do!  Nightly, she has her own sous chef who creates meals just for her.  Seems she gets premium sirloin tips which are sauted then diced perfectly for a delicate doggie to eat.  The “tips” are topped off with parmesean chees freshly grated over the still warm meat. 

But….before she eats, you take a “cookie” (dog treat), break it in half and throw half of it in the hallway for her to contemplate and later eat after she has batted it around for a while.  While dinner is cooking, Ella is involved with that activity.  After dinner is ready, it is placed on the floor for her highness.  Don’t forget the fresh bottled water…no tap water for her!  “Keep both the bowls, here and in the bedroom filled.”  Seems Ella might like a drink and might not want to leave the confines of the boudoir….

Ella will walk on a leash but prefers to be “free”.  She will follow her owner anywhere.  Not sure she would follow me….so I opted for the leash while I was there…She was actually good about putting on the harness and walking on the leash.

I was shown the car seat and given instructions about where to place it in my vehicle if I decided to take Ella for a drive.  “She likes to sit behind you.  And, the window must be opened only just enough for her to enjoy the air but to also guard her safety….She likes to bark at other animals you know.”

I was told that the refrigerator contents, the pantry contents, and the contents of the freezer in the garage were at my disposal.  I was also asked if I had any requests from the grocery that were not already in the house.  The owner was very gracious in that aspect.

We took Ella for a walk.  I was shown the routes she likes to take.  “But, let her choose which route she will take.”  It was drizzling rain….when we got back home, Ella immediately ran through the house and landed in her owner’s bed where she flipped and flopped, dampening everything in site.

As the meeting was drawing to a close, I was told that I would find instructions on how to operate the TV when I arrived the following Friday.  I was walked to the door, house key in hand.  I was almost to my car when the owner came out and informed me that her soon to be step son “may come by the house”….I was “under no circumstances” to let him in the house…”he steals things”.  I should have taken this as a nother sign that the weekend would not be uneventful…

I arrived on Friday evening, things in tow, to sit with Ella.  I had just put my things in the guest room and changed into shorts and a Tshirt when a teenager came riding up the driveway on his skatebord….I had been told to just walk away from the door and ignore him.  I could not do so…But, I did not let him in either.  I told him I was sorry but was told he could not enter the house.  He stood there for a little while with a confused look on his face but finally turned and walked away.  I did not see him for the rest of the weekend…thankfully.

Ella and I had an agreeable if not uneventful weekend.  She did, in fact, eat better than I did.  She is a sweet doggie…